A pioneering approach by the Green Hills Psychiatric Centre
could transform treatment of institutionalised inpatients.
The Green Hills Centre has partnered with the I-Hate-Wildlife-Association to introduce a wombat breeding program as part of its innovative approach to positive rehabilitation of inpatients.
Developed as part of its rigorous plans to pioneer unique techniques in streamlining inpatient care, the Centre believes this breakthrough approach will eliminate the need for time-consuming administration of patients.
"We are pleased to announce a new and exciting advancement in our rehab regime", enthused the Professor of Psychiatry. "For some time now we have been looking at ways of better managing our inpatient care. Wombats are docile enough to remain planted on a lap and we expect they will provide a warm and fuzzy connection to many thighs and a reduction in blood pressure, both of inpatients and staff".
"May I take this opportunity to state that the wombats will be infused with a chemical that is harmless to them but which would make barbecued wombat meat an unforgettably ugly experience should any villagers set up traps in our grounds".
The Professors of General Surgery and Tropical Medicine said, "We are pleased and honoured to be at the forefront of such innovative treatment and are preparing to receive the Award of Excellence in Healthcare".
The efficacy of this cutting-edge treatment will be studied and a manuscript submitted to the Green Hills Scientific and Medical Journal in the fullness of time.
Inpatients with cognitive ability enjoying wombat therapy
in a stimulating environment. They are waiting for the
music to stop before they exchange wombats and chairs.
Please visit our Bulletin for an update regarding this program
A new approach to an old problem
As our wombat breeding program was forced into premature closure, a new trial is underway using a budgerigar which was kindly donated by a councillor. These native Australian birds are much sought after by our overseas friends because of their tame natures and high tolerance levels. Our budgie has been in residence for over a month now and is the centre of attention for many inpatients. She is fitting in very well.